My work day ended badly on Monday. I did my best and a client complained about me. It kinda broke me down.
My best friend's "death day" was on Tuesday and I allowed these issues to hijack my brain. I used these facts and the inclement weather as an excuse to bail on the gym and have a pity party.
I stay with my BFF Chef Geoff the 3 days a week I don't have my kids. We've been together almost 3 years! He's a chef, I used to be a chef. We're both foodies. We're both trying to be healthier.
I went to his house and opened the fridge and told him I was going to eat my feelings. Which I did.
I ate 2 small bowls of his homemade mac and cheese. This stuff is AMAZING. It is my kryptonite.
I told him how bad my day was, while he was cooking dinner. Then I proceded to eat a container of leftover brussel sprouts (kinda my fave) and half a cheeseburger (it was amazing).
Chef Geoff watched in horror. He was appalled and I didn't care.
I was filling the sadness void with food, so I wouldn't feel. I wouldn't feel anything.
His parents are visiting and they are not big drinkers, so we didn't have beverages handy. If we had booze, I would have drank instead of binge eating (hate eating as I like to call it).
I also gluttonously ate the delicious turkey dinner that was prepared. Then I went to bed to read.
I actually felt much better.
I had a midnight snack very early Tuesday AM and I slept in.
I took a mental health day on Tuesday. We went to a yin yoga class, which was really what I needed. It was an hour of restorative yoga poses. Then we went to the gym. I did cardio and saunaed.....
Then we went out for lunch and day drinking and then I took a nap.
This segues to my opinion on Self Love. Food = Love. Is this unhealthy? Possibly.
Do I feel better? Yes, yes I do.
Let's back peddle to my my former therapist Courtney. I adored her. She helped me recognize unhealthy habits and relationships. She helped me recognize co-dependent tendencies and self sabotaging behaviors. She would have asked me to think about the benefits of my behaviors. She would have asked me what the negatives were....
I guess I would admit that I slipped but I am making up for it with better choices going forward.
What will I do in the future, when life throws me curve balls??
The gym? Healthy snacks, journaling, and walks outside.
Those are grand ideas, the problem is that sometimes reality isn't that simple. Or is it excuses?
I am not sure, but that is why I am trying to be honest with myself. Sometimes you just have to call it a day and start fresh tomorrow.
My best friend's "death day" was on Tuesday and I allowed these issues to hijack my brain. I used these facts and the inclement weather as an excuse to bail on the gym and have a pity party.
I stay with my BFF Chef Geoff the 3 days a week I don't have my kids. We've been together almost 3 years! He's a chef, I used to be a chef. We're both foodies. We're both trying to be healthier.
I went to his house and opened the fridge and told him I was going to eat my feelings. Which I did.
I ate 2 small bowls of his homemade mac and cheese. This stuff is AMAZING. It is my kryptonite.
I told him how bad my day was, while he was cooking dinner. Then I proceded to eat a container of leftover brussel sprouts (kinda my fave) and half a cheeseburger (it was amazing).
Chef Geoff watched in horror. He was appalled and I didn't care.
I was filling the sadness void with food, so I wouldn't feel. I wouldn't feel anything.
His parents are visiting and they are not big drinkers, so we didn't have beverages handy. If we had booze, I would have drank instead of binge eating (hate eating as I like to call it).
I also gluttonously ate the delicious turkey dinner that was prepared. Then I went to bed to read.
I actually felt much better.
I had a midnight snack very early Tuesday AM and I slept in.
I took a mental health day on Tuesday. We went to a yin yoga class, which was really what I needed. It was an hour of restorative yoga poses. Then we went to the gym. I did cardio and saunaed.....
Then we went out for lunch and day drinking and then I took a nap.
This segues to my opinion on Self Love. Food = Love. Is this unhealthy? Possibly.
Do I feel better? Yes, yes I do.
Let's back peddle to my my former therapist Courtney. I adored her. She helped me recognize unhealthy habits and relationships. She helped me recognize co-dependent tendencies and self sabotaging behaviors. She would have asked me to think about the benefits of my behaviors. She would have asked me what the negatives were....
I guess I would admit that I slipped but I am making up for it with better choices going forward.
What will I do in the future, when life throws me curve balls??
The gym? Healthy snacks, journaling, and walks outside.
Those are grand ideas, the problem is that sometimes reality isn't that simple. Or is it excuses?
I am not sure, but that is why I am trying to be honest with myself. Sometimes you just have to call it a day and start fresh tomorrow.
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